To Everyone in the Service Business: Please Don't Call Me Dear



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The straw on the proverbial camel's back was irretrievably broken earlier today during a conversation with a service person scheduling an appointment for a repair.   Throughout the call she called me "dear" rather than using my name or "ma'am," a habit this blogger finds offensive and condescending.  Dear is a term reserved for family members or a close circle of friends who know each other well and use it to show affection.

 

Get one thing straight, service personnel.   You wouldn't refer to a male patron as dear, so don't use it with females.  It crosses the line of business etiquette and enters the realm of social faux pas.  No shortage of appropriate terms exist, so practice using them. 

 

Those who train employees should take note of this admonition and emphasize a strict abolition of "dear" in the workplace.   When I hear that word from someone I don't know, it hits a raw nerve, and I'm tempted to call the offender "honey" or some other demeaning term in response, but I have thus far resisted the temptation.

 

Many of my friends and acquaintances have expressed the same irritation that I have described,  but we don't want to stoop to rude behavior to counter ignorance.  Recently, I started a new tactic of informing anyone who uses the dreaded term that I prefer my first name, Ms. plus my last name, or "ma'am" and tell them not to use "dear."  Some of the people have reacted as though I have offended them with the mere suggestion, while others have taken it in stride.

 

For those readers who agree, help me wipe out this example of intruding in personal space and maintaining polite communications with customers and clients.  Just say, "No!"